DONUTS!!!!!!

Wrapping up January with a bang...  I had my first food dream last night and yup...  you guessed it...  It was about donuts.  They were just laying there.  I was hungry and it was time for breakfast and before I realized what I was doing, I had eaten the whole box.  I turn around and realize my husband had been standing behind me the whole time.  I asked him why he didn't stop me.  He told me that it looked like I was enjoying them...

Well of course I was enjoying them!!!  THEY ARE DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankfully, I woke up from that nightmare and realized I had not gorged on donuts.  Not eating those intentional carbs is starting to feel like second nature again.  I am constantly surrounded by temptations.  This morning it was the girls eating cinnamon toast crunch.  I wanted a bite so bad, but then I realized I really didn't. 

I picked up some grapefruit at the store last night.  They looked so good, I had one for dinner last night.  I know I will have to limit them because they are very high in carbs.   25g's per serving, but about 4g's are fiber.  That's still more than I'd really like to take in, but it's fruit and not a candy bar.  We are in the midst of flu, cold, sinus, sick season and this sucker has 120% of my daily value of vitamin C...  Look Ms. Shell...  I took my vitamin today.  LOL!

Still sitting at 295.  But I really do feel like my clothes are feeling a bit looser.  I know I would feel loads better if I could get to the gym and get back into a routine.  My motivation lacks there.  I think deep down I'm scared to start exercising.  In the past, I get fiercely hungry after exercising.  Even if I opt for something healthy, the influx of extra calories keep me from losing.  I know I can't finish this journey without exercising.  I just wish it wouldn't make me so hungry when I did.  I have tried every trick in the book. 

Maybe someone out there has another suggestion I haven't tried yet.  I've tried eating a high protein meal before, after, and during my workout (drinking a protein shake instead of water while at the gym).  I literally become a bottomless pit when I leave the gym.  I've tried putting off eating as long as possible after workout and that is no better. 

I'll figure it out...  I'm just hoping it's sooner rather than later.  = )