Taking Things to a New Kind of Low...

I'm a few days shy of being 13 months out from my Duodenal Switch.  I have finally surpassed my lowest weight and lost ALL of the weight I'd regained.  My weight this morning...  234.  2 lbs less than where things took a screeching halt the last time.

So...  This is new territory for me.  Being this weight represents so many things to me right now and some of them are scary.  For the first time in 15+ years of being together, I weigh less than my husband.  From my heaviest weight, I have lost 191 lbs.  9 lbs away from 200 lbs lost...  I am 35 lbs away from ONEDERLAND!  I'm almost in need of a size 18 pants.  All of these things and MORE make me excited and anxious about going further.

All of my concerns are in my head.  Mostly doubts...  Can I do this?  Can I be successful?  So much of my life can be chocked off to unfinished projects and half realized dreams.  I don't want this journey to be that way.  I have a goal.  Maybe it's too lofty.  Maybe it's not.  But I'll never know if I don't give it everything I have and at least go for it!

This next year coming up is representing a big change for our family.  In just about any circumstance, change is scary.  It's tough not knowing what to expect.  The only thing we can do is plan for the worst and hope for the best.  With that said...  Stress is a huge trigger for me to eat.  I will be battling this and I know and understand that this will be a daily struggle for me.  But I will remember that I do not need to stress over things that are beyond my control.  We will make it through and be better for it in the end!!!

2014 is going to be a GREAT year!!!!!

7 Months.... Not this time!

The last time I went through this whole weight loss journey, I got stuck in the 240's for 7 months!  I managed to break through and get into the 230's for about 2 seconds before climbing back up to the 350's.  Now...  here I am again in the 240's.  I've been here for 2 months already.  This morning's weight was 244.  I refuse to be stuck here for another 5 months.  But I can say that I know this won't be the case.  My weight loss might be slowing down, but I can say that it's not because I'm eating the wrong things this time.

 

Here is my latest photo comparison.  The first picture was taken Dec. 2006.  I remember this day so clearly.  This was the day that I thought I was having a heart attack when instead I was having a panic attack.  I went to urgent care and their scale said 425 lbs.  This was the moment that sparked the change.  I was 25 years old.  It makes me so sad for the girl I see in that picture.   7 years later at 245 in the second picture.  I still have such a long way to go, but I have come so far already.  I don't ever want to forget that girl...  but I know I don't ever want to be where she was ever again.

 Goals have been so important to me on this journey.  Not necessarily weight goals, but more accomplishments.  My most recent one I've been working on is to prepare for a 5k that we will be participating in this fall.  I'm up to 2 miles in 39 minutes before I feel like I'm going to keel over.  And that's pushing it.  So I'm trying not to push so hard and just keep at it.  I'll get there.  My goal is to finish the 5k in under an hour.  So if I can do that, then I'm good!  I can improve from there.  But that gives me something to work at.  

I'm debating on getting a personal trainer after the first of the year.  I'm not 100% on this yet.  The thought of it freaks me out.  But at the same time, I feel like I need someone telling me what to do so I can make the most of this body I have.  It will be tough not being able to see the results under the rolls and folds of skin, but at least I know it's under there and I'll see it one day when I have the extra bits removed.  And using a personal trainer will only help me get to that point faster.  So I'll be weighing the options.  It's in the budget... so we shall see!!!

Till next time!!!

Slap my hand!!!

I can't believe I haven't updated since MAY!!! 

The first pic is from my highest of 425 lbs.  The infamous black skirt that I wore at that weight...  and my most recent pic at 250 lbs - taken on 7.29.13

Currently, I'm at 248 lbs.  Just got results from my hematologist and my iron levels are in completely normal ranges!  I will be going to see my primary care doctor in a few months to have a full panel of blood work done again to check my other levels and see if my other deficiencies are improving.

I anticipated being a slow loser since I wasn't a virgin DSer, but I am really pleased with how well I've done so far.  I'm learning every day what is best for this body and the DS makes it easy to keep making those good choices.  Best of all, I'm learning to not turn to food when I'm stressed.  The foods I used to run to for comfort cause me so much pain and agony, I'd rather just find a more constructive way to de-stress.  So I've spent most of my weekends crafting.  Pinterest is my new best friend (cough cough...  transferred addiction)!  LMAO!

The only demon I haven't managed to conquer is the lazy one...  Well, maybe not lazy...  Just a lack of motivation to MOVE!  And when I do, I'm not consistent.  I choose not to make it a priority.  And when I try to, I make excuses to justify why I just don't do it....  Too busy, too tired, too preoccupied, too hot...  Helping a kid with homework, gotta clean house, gotta do laundry, gotta shop, gotta cook...  In the back of my mind, I KNOW that exercise is just as important as taking my vitamins every day.  So why CAN I commit myself to taking my vitamins but I CAN'T manage to get off my ass and bounce for 5 minutes or take a walk around the neighborhood.  *Stupid slap*

From 425 to 248...  I don't have my weight holding me back anymore.  My excuses are getting lame... even to me! 

As a means to quit making excuses, I'm committing myself to a 1/2 marathon!  In February of 2015...  But to get started, I've got to work my way up.  I don't do 1 mile let alone 13!!!  To force me to start training, as a family, we are planning to participate in our first family 5k in November.  Couch to 5k here I come!!  Do they make a bed to 5k?  Or a floor to 5k?  I'll get there...  but I have to start somewhere.  And the road to somewhere starts with the first step. 

=)

I am Iron Woman!

It's been a while since I've updated.  Everything has been going really well!  I'm learning so much about my new life after the Duodenal Switch.  I went at the end of April to do my 6 month labs and got my results back a few weeks later.  My heart goes out to the nurse that called me to discuss my results...  LOL!

I told her not to stress over what it said and to just send me the results.  Just what I always wanted to do...  Learn how to interpret a comprehensive lab report.  No, really...  Who knew learning about what does what or which ones work together to do what would be exciting and fun!!!  What a learning experience!

So...  I've got some deficiencies.  But thankfully, they are old deficiencies that are actually getting better since the DS.  The only real issue that needed to be addressed was my Iron levels.  I have IDA (Iron Deficient Anemia).  The best course of treatment for this is an iron infusion... get my Iron Woman pic now ô¿~

I'm scheduled for my first of 2 infusions next Thursday.  The second will be 1 week later and in 3 months, we'll do another set of labs and see how much improvement we have made.

I need to say that I am really proud of how far I've come. For the first time in forever, I feel in control of my life and my body. When I had the sleeve, I was young and naive and I thought I was invincible. I neglected to retain what I learned or to be proactive about maintaining my health. I thought just losing weight would solve all of my problems. But I have come to realize that this process is psychological, physical, and physiological... the trifecta of P's. I'm getting it this time. I'm learning and retaining. I'm being an active and productive participator in my own health instead of just expecting it to happen on its own. 

Being that I was never a vitamin taker before this surgery...  I had my doubts that I would be able to live up to such a huge commitment.  Even my own husband had his doubts!  I must admit that I have been scared straight.  I truly understand the implications of not taking care of myself.  I'm trying to play catch-up from years of neglecting myself and my body.  But knowing that I am making progress is such a big thing to me.  Looking at my spreadsheet with my lab results and seeing the good work I've done...  It's awesome.  I will not only be healthy physically, but at a cellular level as well.  Isn't that what we should be striving for?  Not just to lose weight and look good in a bikini (not that I'd ever be seen in public in a bikini) ...  but to truly be HEALTHY!

At 7 1/2 months out, my weight is at 260.  93 lbs down.  I'm only 24 lbs away from my all time lowest weight.  It's exciting and scary at the same time.  For the first time ever, I feel like reaching my "onederland" goal is finally attainable.  

Only time will tell.

Until next time...  =)

 

I MADE IT...

...  Relatively unscathed...  I must say about 90% of my choices were right on track.  The other 10%...  not so much.  But I tried to plan for them and move this body more to accommodate for extra calories or carbs.  Must have done something right since I'm down to 270.  83 lbs lost and today I officially make 6 months out! 

I definitely recognize the importance of preparation now.  We ate out entirely too much.  At least once a day.  But that's ok...  This week, I've purged the house of anything that was left over and did my protein re-stock grocery run.  One thing I've learned is that forcing more gluten filled foods does not make me less intolerant.  *insert stupid slap here*

Here it is almost the middle of April and swimsuit season is upon us.  I feel fairly certain that I will again be sitting this one out.  All this extra skin definitely causes issues that I really don't want people to see.  I keep wishing for some weird solution like that Simpson's episode when Homer loses all his weight.  LOL!

But alas...  in the meantime, I'm stuck with rolls and folds of skin.  I dream of the day when I'm thin enough to have it all lopped off, tucked, and tightened so I can see the svelte body that is hiding underneath. 

I must admit after the making a few bad choices over the last 2 weeks, I have a greater appreciation for the DS.  Normally any small amount of wiggle room in my diet would throw me off the wagon so badly, I'd struggle to climb back on.  But not this time.  For the first time ever...  I actually looked forward to getting back to "MY" normal and sticking with protein, veggies, water, and vitamins.  The dieting hiatus made me aware of what those bad foods can do to my body and I certainly didn't like feeling the remnants it all of in my joints.  Ouch...

But back on track since Sunday has resulted in a 4 lb loss in 4 days.  Guess I can't argue with results.

Gonna keep on going and see where this road takes me next!!!

Temptation Anticipation

Tomorrow makes week 23 post my Duodenal Switch addition.  I am officially down 75 lbs since being switched and that makes a total loss of 147 lbs from my highest!  It's amazing to think that I've lost an entire person already...  And I still have another one to lose.  I'll get there, though.

We have family coming in town for a visit tomorrow and I have a feeling that it's going to be tough to stay on track...  Coming up with a plan of action is one thing, but sticking to it is something entirely different.  So...  here's my solution. 

  

I will use our favorite "Zombie Apocalypse" as an analogy.  Mainstream media has been able to capitalize on humanities fear of a potential zombie apocalypse for decades...  What if I told you it's already here?  *bum bum bum* (insert menacing music)

The source of infection...  SUGAR. 

Here's my rationale.  Sugar makes us mindless, empty shells of people.   The insulin roller-coaster that sugar causes leaves us volatile - our only mission; searching for and consuming more sugar.  The cycle repeats and is never ending.  Before we know it, we are fat, miserable, lethargic, depressed, and a slave to the effects that sugar has on us.  

I refuse to be a zombie!!

So...  With that being said...  I may need to set some boundaries for myself as well as for my company.  There are certain foods that I will have to not allow in my house and I have to be firm and not make any excuses or exceptions.  No matter my mood, financial status, stressors, event, celebration...  Whatever the excuse may be...  I will not use food as a means to cope. 

I am in control over how I choose to fuel my body.  Either I choose foods that will sustain me and encourage my weight loss.  Or I choose foods that will make me a zombie.  

Which will you choose?  ô¿~

Musings and Headgames!

So from this time last week, I am up 5 lbs.  Gives me a headache just thinking about what I did and what I could have done better.  I know my problem...  carbs.  That's always been my problem.  And of course I'm in denial about eating them.  If I don't log them, then they weren't consumed.  Mwhahahaha  (my attempt at an evil laugh). 

So today...  It's back to basics.  Greek yogurt, water, cheese, water, roast beef, water, protein, water, protein, water, protein...  Toss in about 40 vitamins and some more water and I think I'll call it a day.  =)

Yesterday made 5 months since I was Switched.  72 lbs down is a good achievement, but of course I'd rather it have been 172...  What is this need for instant gratification?!?!?  Geez!  I didn't gain it overnight...  But when I've still got to lose another 140ish lbs...  I'm going to stop that thought.  Why is 72 lbs in 5 months not good enough?  Cheese and Crackers, people!  I lost the equivalent of my 9 year old plus the dog! 

My 32nd B-day is in 2 days and I'm wishing I'd get out of the 280's.  Last week I was so close making it to 281.  And then mother nature took over and made me retain everything under the sun and I floated back up to 286 this morning.  March is always the hardest month for me when I'm trying to lose weight.  My youngest daughter's b-day is the week before mine and through lots of celebration of her 8th birthday, I managed to eat 3 cupcakes...  So much better than my baker's dozen...  But 3 cupcakes is not going to get me to my goal.   Birthday or not...  I need to quit making excuses and exceptions and keep my eye on the prize!  I want this weight off my body a hell of a lot more than I want sugary, sweet, gooey icing and moist, melt-in-your-mouth cake...  Damn...  my mouth is watering now.  =(

So I'm going to remember where I came from and remind myself I'm never going back.  I've gotten too close to being there again and I'm on the right track and I want to stay there.  I see where I'm falling short and I will act to correct it now.  I will not give into the carbs and I will make my body move more.  I will stop stressing on what number I see on the scale and start focusing on the changes in the size of my clothes and the differences I see when I look at my before and current pics. 

I swear I'm not trying to be a photo whore, but I can't see it otherwise.  LOL!

 PS...  I need a scale like this.  And possibly those socks.  =)

Weight Loss Surgery Journey in Pictures

Yesterday I made 20 weeks out.  Current weight is 282!  I'm officially half way to my goal weight from my all time highest!

One day at a time!!!

Almost 19 Week Out!

In 2 days, I'll be 19 weeks post-op from my revision to the Duodenal Switch.  So far, I've lost 67 lb's!  My current weight is 286.  This revision process has been such a huge adjustment in thinking.  My whole idea of nutrition and dieting has been turned upside down!  Fats are good with the DS, but not with the sleeve.  I went from everything in my life being low fat/no fat to regular, full fat foods.  This benefits me in lots of ways.  Processed foods are really bad for our bodies.  Low fat/no fat foods are very processed and additional additives are included in these foods to make them taste better.  Full fat foods are less processed.  For a normal person, foods high in fat can cause coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol...  but for DSer's, we don't absorb the fat.  Well we don't absorb about 70-80% of the fat that we ingest.  Your body can't hold on to what it doesn't absorb...  But for healthy brain function and other systems, our bodies need about 30g's of fat a day.  So in order to reach this 30g's, the DSer's diet needs to be higher in fat.  I must say that the inclusion of these foods certainly make "dieting" much more bearable!!

Can we say, pass the bacon???  =)

So I'm not big on full body shots, but I'm struggling with seeing the difference.  Always struggle with this...  So in April 2012, I took a pic of myself in the ladies restroom at the reception for my sister's wedding.  My weight at that time was around 340 (got up to 353 before being switched).  And over the weekend, I had my almost 8 year old snap a for me after we got home from making a Sam's run.

I didn't really realize how different I looked until I saw the pics put together...  The difference is AMAZING after only 4 months!!!  At 353, I was in a 26/28 top and a tight 28 bottom.  Now at 286, I'm in a 18/20 top and 22/24 bottom.  I'm excited and anxious to see what this year will bring.  I still struggle with picturing myself at my goal weight or even getting below my lowest weight; 236.  I'm 50 lbs away from there now...  and still 140 away from my goal weight...  I will get there, though...  Eventually!

In the meantime, I'm going to keep working and everyday I will be making progress!!!