I MADE IT...

...  Relatively unscathed...  I must say about 90% of my choices were right on track.  The other 10%...  not so much.  But I tried to plan for them and move this body more to accommodate for extra calories or carbs.  Must have done something right since I'm down to 270.  83 lbs lost and today I officially make 6 months out! 

I definitely recognize the importance of preparation now.  We ate out entirely too much.  At least once a day.  But that's ok...  This week, I've purged the house of anything that was left over and did my protein re-stock grocery run.  One thing I've learned is that forcing more gluten filled foods does not make me less intolerant.  *insert stupid slap here*

Here it is almost the middle of April and swimsuit season is upon us.  I feel fairly certain that I will again be sitting this one out.  All this extra skin definitely causes issues that I really don't want people to see.  I keep wishing for some weird solution like that Simpson's episode when Homer loses all his weight.  LOL!

But alas...  in the meantime, I'm stuck with rolls and folds of skin.  I dream of the day when I'm thin enough to have it all lopped off, tucked, and tightened so I can see the svelte body that is hiding underneath. 

I must admit after the making a few bad choices over the last 2 weeks, I have a greater appreciation for the DS.  Normally any small amount of wiggle room in my diet would throw me off the wagon so badly, I'd struggle to climb back on.  But not this time.  For the first time ever...  I actually looked forward to getting back to "MY" normal and sticking with protein, veggies, water, and vitamins.  The dieting hiatus made me aware of what those bad foods can do to my body and I certainly didn't like feeling the remnants it all of in my joints.  Ouch...

But back on track since Sunday has resulted in a 4 lb loss in 4 days.  Guess I can't argue with results.

Gonna keep on going and see where this road takes me next!!!

Temptation Anticipation

Tomorrow makes week 23 post my Duodenal Switch addition.  I am officially down 75 lbs since being switched and that makes a total loss of 147 lbs from my highest!  It's amazing to think that I've lost an entire person already...  And I still have another one to lose.  I'll get there, though.

We have family coming in town for a visit tomorrow and I have a feeling that it's going to be tough to stay on track...  Coming up with a plan of action is one thing, but sticking to it is something entirely different.  So...  here's my solution. 

  

I will use our favorite "Zombie Apocalypse" as an analogy.  Mainstream media has been able to capitalize on humanities fear of a potential zombie apocalypse for decades...  What if I told you it's already here?  *bum bum bum* (insert menacing music)

The source of infection...  SUGAR. 

Here's my rationale.  Sugar makes us mindless, empty shells of people.   The insulin roller-coaster that sugar causes leaves us volatile - our only mission; searching for and consuming more sugar.  The cycle repeats and is never ending.  Before we know it, we are fat, miserable, lethargic, depressed, and a slave to the effects that sugar has on us.  

I refuse to be a zombie!!

So...  With that being said...  I may need to set some boundaries for myself as well as for my company.  There are certain foods that I will have to not allow in my house and I have to be firm and not make any excuses or exceptions.  No matter my mood, financial status, stressors, event, celebration...  Whatever the excuse may be...  I will not use food as a means to cope. 

I am in control over how I choose to fuel my body.  Either I choose foods that will sustain me and encourage my weight loss.  Or I choose foods that will make me a zombie.  

Which will you choose?  ô¿~

Musings and Headgames!

So from this time last week, I am up 5 lbs.  Gives me a headache just thinking about what I did and what I could have done better.  I know my problem...  carbs.  That's always been my problem.  And of course I'm in denial about eating them.  If I don't log them, then they weren't consumed.  Mwhahahaha  (my attempt at an evil laugh). 

So today...  It's back to basics.  Greek yogurt, water, cheese, water, roast beef, water, protein, water, protein, water, protein...  Toss in about 40 vitamins and some more water and I think I'll call it a day.  =)

Yesterday made 5 months since I was Switched.  72 lbs down is a good achievement, but of course I'd rather it have been 172...  What is this need for instant gratification?!?!?  Geez!  I didn't gain it overnight...  But when I've still got to lose another 140ish lbs...  I'm going to stop that thought.  Why is 72 lbs in 5 months not good enough?  Cheese and Crackers, people!  I lost the equivalent of my 9 year old plus the dog! 

My 32nd B-day is in 2 days and I'm wishing I'd get out of the 280's.  Last week I was so close making it to 281.  And then mother nature took over and made me retain everything under the sun and I floated back up to 286 this morning.  March is always the hardest month for me when I'm trying to lose weight.  My youngest daughter's b-day is the week before mine and through lots of celebration of her 8th birthday, I managed to eat 3 cupcakes...  So much better than my baker's dozen...  But 3 cupcakes is not going to get me to my goal.   Birthday or not...  I need to quit making excuses and exceptions and keep my eye on the prize!  I want this weight off my body a hell of a lot more than I want sugary, sweet, gooey icing and moist, melt-in-your-mouth cake...  Damn...  my mouth is watering now.  =(

So I'm going to remember where I came from and remind myself I'm never going back.  I've gotten too close to being there again and I'm on the right track and I want to stay there.  I see where I'm falling short and I will act to correct it now.  I will not give into the carbs and I will make my body move more.  I will stop stressing on what number I see on the scale and start focusing on the changes in the size of my clothes and the differences I see when I look at my before and current pics. 

I swear I'm not trying to be a photo whore, but I can't see it otherwise.  LOL!

 PS...  I need a scale like this.  And possibly those socks.  =)

Weight Loss Surgery Journey in Pictures

Yesterday I made 20 weeks out.  Current weight is 282!  I'm officially half way to my goal weight from my all time highest!

One day at a time!!!

Almost 19 Week Out!

In 2 days, I'll be 19 weeks post-op from my revision to the Duodenal Switch.  So far, I've lost 67 lb's!  My current weight is 286.  This revision process has been such a huge adjustment in thinking.  My whole idea of nutrition and dieting has been turned upside down!  Fats are good with the DS, but not with the sleeve.  I went from everything in my life being low fat/no fat to regular, full fat foods.  This benefits me in lots of ways.  Processed foods are really bad for our bodies.  Low fat/no fat foods are very processed and additional additives are included in these foods to make them taste better.  Full fat foods are less processed.  For a normal person, foods high in fat can cause coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol...  but for DSer's, we don't absorb the fat.  Well we don't absorb about 70-80% of the fat that we ingest.  Your body can't hold on to what it doesn't absorb...  But for healthy brain function and other systems, our bodies need about 30g's of fat a day.  So in order to reach this 30g's, the DSer's diet needs to be higher in fat.  I must say that the inclusion of these foods certainly make "dieting" much more bearable!!

Can we say, pass the bacon???  =)

So I'm not big on full body shots, but I'm struggling with seeing the difference.  Always struggle with this...  So in April 2012, I took a pic of myself in the ladies restroom at the reception for my sister's wedding.  My weight at that time was around 340 (got up to 353 before being switched).  And over the weekend, I had my almost 8 year old snap a for me after we got home from making a Sam's run.

I didn't really realize how different I looked until I saw the pics put together...  The difference is AMAZING after only 4 months!!!  At 353, I was in a 26/28 top and a tight 28 bottom.  Now at 286, I'm in a 18/20 top and 22/24 bottom.  I'm excited and anxious to see what this year will bring.  I still struggle with picturing myself at my goal weight or even getting below my lowest weight; 236.  I'm 50 lbs away from there now...  and still 140 away from my goal weight...  I will get there, though...  Eventually!

In the meantime, I'm going to keep working and everyday I will be making progress!!!

Time for an Update!!!

Yesterday I made 8 weeks post-op after being switched.  I have lost 43 pounds since I started the 2 week pre-op liquid diet!!!  And 115 pounds down from my all time highest weight!!!  So far, everything has been good.  As the weight comes off again, I am starting to have more energy.  My coworkers are noticing which makes me feel good because I certainly don't see it!!!  My clothes fit better which is fantastic!  I did not want to have to start ordering from catalogs again...

My eating has been good.  During researching the DS, I found that it was very common for DSers to become gluten intollerant.  So since my revision, I've avoided anything containing gluten.  Until this week!  My husband had a christmas party and I baked 200 cookies for the party.  I had 2 small cookies and a tablespoon full of the dough.  4 days later and I'm still feeling the effects!  Definitely no gluten for me!!!  That is probably the best thing that has ever happened, though.  Bread (and bread products... cake, cookies, etc...) is my kryptonite!!!  Last night we took the girls out for ice cream...  no problems passing that up.  Makes me sick as a dog!  Lesson learned a long time ago.  But the cookie was a new lesson.  Not testing that theory out again!!!  Lesson definitely learn there now too!  lol!

My husband wants me to set some goals.  He wants me to anticipate what weight I will be when...  I did this after being sleeved and only discouraged myself when I never made those goals.  So I'm torn.  I love the idea of having something to work toward.  But I know my body doesn't respond to the work I put into it like it does for other people... at least it doesn't respond the way I want it to on the scale.  I think if I keep doing everything right, the weight will come off when it comes off.  Of course I want it to all come off now, but that's not realistic... =)

So weight....  This morning I was 310 lbs.  I do have a goal of being under 300 by the beginning of the year.  I'd like to start 2013 off back in the 200's.  I'm not far from it and I've got 25 days to do it...  I'm fairly sure it'll be doable.  Just no more slip-ups and christmas dinner will have to be straight protein.  No more snacking on Aunt Annie's pretzels in the mall while I'm shopping.  And even though I'm busy and out and about every night of the week...  that's no excuse to indulge on fast food every night...  even though you think you are making good choices...  it's fast food...  nothing is good about it.  =)

I hope everyone stays on track and enjoys their holidays!!!  I'll update again soon!!!

Pins and Needles!!!

 4 more days!!!  I'm nervous and excited!  Liquid diet has gone much better since I switched to a different protein powder.  Yesterday was the first day I actually felt a little hungry.  But it's been manageable.  My pre-op weigh-in was at 353 pounds.  So far, I am down 17 pounds!  I'm hoping to be down 20 by the time of surgery.  Almost there!!!  

Another DSer posted this picture in a forum to be able to describe the DS.  I've been looking at anatomical pictures online trying to picture exactly what they are going to do during the revision.  But when I saw this, it made soooo much more sense.  Just had to share it here. 

There are so many things I am trying not to get my hopes up for.  When I was sleeved 5 years ago, I dreamed and dreamed big.  Only to feel like I let myself down in the end.  I am trying to rein it in and be realistic.  I would love to just be under 200 pounds.  That is probably more realistic than my dream goal of 140.  But I don't think it's too terribly unrealistic with the DS if I truly am committed to the process and the sacrifices I know I need to make for it to happen.  Carbs are going to be another causality of this war.  Thanks to the 2 week liquid diet and keeping my carbs under 50g's, I'm not feeling the demon so much anymore.  I'm craving veggies and meat which is fantastic!  I'd kill for a steak with a big salad on the side right about now.  

I wonder where I will be one year from now.  What will be my rate of loss?  I believe with the sleeve, I averaged about 10 pounds lost a month for the first year.  If that's the case, I should be around 215 by my 1 year mark.  Lower than the lowest I fought to get to with the sleeve.  My lowest weight ever was 236.  Wouldn't that just be amazing...  Maybe even hitting ONEDERLAND by Christmas!!!  OMG!  

But here I go getting my hopes up again.  Realistically, I should expect 1/2 the rate since I've already been sleeved and the massive restriction full DSer's receive is what jump starts that enormous weight loss like it did for me when I was first sleeved.  So I will take what help I can get from the surgery and do what I can to make up the difference.  This would be my food choices to fuel my body and exercising to burn the calories I'm taking in and then some so I can consistently lose weight.  

I can do this...  This is the most hopeful I have felt in years.  It's an awesome feeling to have hope again.